so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
