IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
