im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
