i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize