Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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