...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
