I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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