he wants to bone in the snuggie
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she smelled like a LAN party
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
