I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He kissed a someone with a penis
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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