you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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