If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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