bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
