we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
