He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
