I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm too high and old for this...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
