I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Let's get the cat blown out
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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