somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
