He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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