He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
