hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
