I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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