My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
