i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
