I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Enjoy the penises
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
