well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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