i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
