I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
