i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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