wakey wakey hands off snakey
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
