As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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