Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
