I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
a search helicopter?!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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