Already got asked if we're dating
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
