Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
