idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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