Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
