that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
