I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She announced her abortion via fbk
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
