so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
