We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
