Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
