I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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