it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
