so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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