So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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