And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
