We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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