That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
