We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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