What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
