ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
